Honest words from a bad space

Jul 16

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Hi. How have you been? it has ben a while.  look honestly i don’t know where to start. I could use the cliche ” life happens” in my case it really did. Life has thrown a good series of setbacks, Hi. How have you been? It has been a while.

Look, honestly, I don’t know where to start. I could use the cliché “life happens.” In my case, it really did. Life has thrown a good series of setbacks, and now I have been picking up the pieces.

So let’s go from the beginning. I haven’t been writing like I said I was going to. Mainly because I was in a bad space, and saying anything from that point would not have been the most fruitful.

Of course, there were moments of inspiration—the ability to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel—only to realize it was a train coming towards me, metaphorically.

I was nearing the end of my time in the Navy. That was a big change. Leaving an organization after spending over two decades was a huge transition alone.

I started an entrepreneurial journey that I self-sabotaged. What’s worse is that my marriage ended—the last tether of normalcy severed.

Veteran. Divorced. Failing dad. Failed entrepreneur. Faithless.

Forget the emotional tank being empty—mine had holes punched in it.

I share this with you not for your sympathy. You, as my reader, should know if we are going to walk this walk together.

And that is what I have learned from this time: I thought I had to have my life put together—you know, under control. I thought I had to be a perfect Christian to be able to speak and encourage and share the uplifting message of the gospel, while inside feeling fake… because my spiritual life was like my fitness regimen: non-existent.and now i have been picking up the pieces
    So let’s go from the beginning. I haven’t been writing like I said I was going to.  Mainly because i was in a bad space and saying anything from that point would not have been the most fruitful.  Of course, there were moments of inspiration, the ability to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, only to realize it was a train coming towards me metaphorically.
I was nearing the end of my time in the Navy. That was a big change. Leaving an organization after spending over two decades was a huge transition alone. I started an entrepreneurial journey, which I self-sabotaged. whats worse is that my marriage ended. the last thether of normalcy severed. THE END!
Veteran, Divorced, failing Dad, failed entrepreneur..Faithless.  Forget the emotional tank being empty; mine had holes punched in it. 
   I share this with you not for your sympathy. You, as my fellow reader, should know if we are going to walk this walk together. It’s about transparency here. That is what I have learned from our time apart. I thought I had to have my life put together, you know, under control.
I thought I had to be a perfect Christian to be able to speak and encourage and share the uplifting message of the gospel, while inside feeling fake because my spiritual life was like my fitness regimen, nonexistent.
   I learned that even though my expieriences have labels it tells me that i can change them. and you can too. I hope you stay and we can find how together.  here’s mine
Veteran – Accomplished warrior
Divorced – Reconciled
Failing Dad – Present Parent
Failed entrepreneur – successful risk taker
Faith-less – Faith-filled.
Each of us have this ability. The best part? We don’t need permission. We can change. It is changing me every day. Little by little, I am picking up the pieces of my life and putting some of them here to share with you, to encourage or entertain you. Life is funny sometimes, we need to laugh more.
So stick around, I’ll have a post up soon.     

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“IGNITED: A Man’s Guide to Using What You Have Been Given”

“IGNITED: A Man’s Guide to Using What You Have Been Given”

Apr 13

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Man 2 Man Bible study- D.M. Escalante, escalanteministries.com

My body is sore. I was working this week, like physically working. If we haven’t met before, I work at a construction company doing ground utility work. I am a Safety Guy by profession, which means I help the company employees do their tasks safely so they can come home the same way, if not better than the way they came in. I do more using my head and heart than actual muscles to get the job done.

But this week I was in the field doing the work. Oh man, buddy! I am so sore, even my eyelashes hurt. Yeah, I have been sitting on my butt doing paperwork and looking out for the team for so long I have forgotten what many call an “honest day’s work” looks like.

so this post, is what I have understood about using it or loose it.

Have you ever heard that phrase before? ” Use it or Lose it” I have heard it many times in my life growing up in Cali. it meant that you have to use what you have been given or lose the opportunity because of many variables.

For example, you earn days of vacation for every month you work. After you accrue the maximum number of days on your books. you must use or lose your vacation days.

I learned this when I was in the Navy and had accrued vacation days I was faced with the choice of either taking my vacation days or losing these days permanently without pay. During my short stint in the Navy, it was implied that we take leave during our transfer in and out of command because the command needed it. it was real Macho stuff or so I thought.

So this week Man 2 man, is just that Use it or lose it. I could bring out a scripture or two to engage with you, but you may know more about this than you think. besides I wouldn’t do a half-hearted job of throwing in bible verses like a philosophical soothsayer and cheapen the gospel to mere entertainment.

but God has given each of you a natural ability, no matter your advantage use what you have been given.

So how do you do that? here are 7 tips to help. this takes some work. Don’t roll your eyes and get upset, You’re a man, this is what you do.

  1. Inventory. Use your journal or other media to create a list of skills or deeds that have helped others and they have specifically complimented your actions
  2. Gather. Gather this information in one locatable area either physically or digitally as this becomes the launchpad for your journey as a man.
  3. Note. write down what others have said about the actions you have done. this can be in your performance reviews or Friends and acquaintances (if you have any). What did they say? For example, for me, I was complemented by how hard I work and I’m good at encouraging. When I would do presentations ( back in the day) after my talks. I would receive lots of compliments. or when I did my landscaping business my customers acknowledged my intent, making them feel I was part of their team in making their house beautiful. They appreciated how our interactions were not based on money but on value( but that’s a different post).
  4. Identify. Identify what is important to you or your mission. Every man has a mission (save that for another Post) and you are no different. Whether you believe in Jesus as I try to do or not, you have been designed for a mission in your lifetime. you were created by God which makes you special ( honestly I don’t have to know you to say that) God knows who you are and if you ever doubt for one second that you are misunderstood or unloved. read John 3:16-20 to remind you you’re more than a paycheck. your Gods man. Man to Man? That is amazing.
  5. Take action. create a plan to develop your skills either one or a few and start doing it. “Get busy livin’ or get busy dying”- The Shawshank Redemption, 1986. I don’t know about you, but I struggle with this part. I can get so busy collecting information that I become a statue when it comes to taking action. even during this writing. the sun is coming up on this Saturday morning and I feel like I was fighting “Iron Mike” I am trying to communicate better. look at two qualities that you have and see if you can improve upon them. are there courses you can take to g3t develop your talent?
  6. Evaluate. So how did it go? Did your golfing improve? were you on time to work this week? write down your findings in your journal. You can do this day by day or at the end when you have time. what makes this step work in your life is to manage your output based on what action you took.
  7. Do over. I know this can be true for me when I do something once I believe I am proficient and stop. I SHOULD NOT DO THIS. This is how men become mediocre and can lose out on the win of building up who they are as a father, Son, and Husband Brother. You have to practice the skill you want to develop. You want to be a good dad and you blew it yesterday? Fine. Use this as a source to get after it. Listen, only ostriches put their heads on the ground. Men will not have that luxury. you’re a fighter. that is the skill that needs to grow with you.

if you noticed the steps spell IGNITED. it resonates with me for two reasons: one, this was the name of the youth ministry I had the honor of leading at the church I served at. Two, it should be a spark for you as a man. did you know that most wildfires in California can be attributed to a simple spark? from a lit cigarette thrown out of a window to lighting striking dry tinder. the result is life-altering.

I want that for you brother, I want you to reach your dreams and blaze a trail for the young men to look at. My kids need another example of how life is for a man. They could be looking at you.

So leave below in the comments on how you’re going to blaze a trail. What are your thoughts on this post want to see more? Don’t like it? let me know below.

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Thank you: Drivers

Many of us have had them at one time in our life. Some of you may still use them. I want to take the time to acknowledge and thank you, local bus driver. whether it is a school bus transit bus or party bus.

You try to maintain a positive vibe when everyone around you may not. Your face is the first your passengers see and the last face the little kiddo gets dropped off at home. your attitude can set the tone for others and you recognized that

You represent the day completed. you guide this huge machine effortlessly through the city amidst all the traffic. you get us to where we need to go. Day in -and day out, your professionalism and the care you take to help a passenger with his or her bike. or even on a break answering which bus route gets them closest to the pet store.

Without you in your driver’s seat, many couldn’t feed their families and others would miss out on education. Bus drivers are in large part, the lynchpin to the economy in America that without the value these Men and Women bring country would be set back thirty or forty years.

Drivers connect the world and they do it in most cases in 14 hours. Imagine, goods and services moving about the states on the machines piloted by men and women who take time away from loved ones to deliver goods so that others may be fed or clothed. it is an eye-opening thought that I hope you take time today and thank a driver, whether they serve your child or you give them a thank you and appreciate the value they bring.

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