Category Archives: Marriage

Our Marriage is over…..

2015 I believe is the year of reclamation. so how do I as a God fearing man redeem love in my marriage? Good question. The Answer? in short, the Holy Spirit. Now here is the essay answer:

My marriage was great! In fact, it was glorious. But it has run its course and NOW IS OVER…….

Before I get the “stink-face”, stay with me.

I wrote the header above in part because I have heard this often in my career even in myself. I heard this not as a Minister but working as a Mechanic with co-workers underneath the jet with our arms up in an aircraft engine in the heat of the day with sweat jumping off our faces. Divorce affects everyone and right now you’re seeing your marriage as over and with that thought it will be. Although it does not have to be!!!

When you were married promises were made; you to your spouse and vice versa. God made a promise to both of you. not that you will win the lotto or be famous. He promised that no one will tear you both apart from each other. That being said you have a “Silent Partner” within your marriage called the Holy Spirit. let me assure you that trying to fix your marriage by yourself within your own strength is about as effective trying to stop a train on a dime even at moderate speed.

Here it is Superman. Your marriage has ended in the way you have seen it. Try loving your spouse in the way Christ loves the church. if you need outside help, get it!!! True, Jesus does not get pestered to take the trash out or even why he left the seat up. but he does get told what HIS kid did that day. All joking aside. Praying and asking the Holy Spirit to help you and guide you to a better marriage is thee only way to begin your marriage afresh.. thank you for reading and I pray that your marriage will prosper even as your soul prospers.

Wives are a blessing….. if you let them.

The “I” contact

The sure way to strain a relationship is no I contact. You might be surprised I did not say Eye contact. although that is important it is not the complete you. I will explain later. To often the first thing to go in a marriage is the attention within the marital union itself. Your married, spend a blissful time celebrating the union that is you and for a time the couple of expieriences the true affection and attention from each other. their love is new and appears strong. Most call this infatuation or even lust for one reason or another. Would you think that there would be loss of interest of the other? or even a dissatisfaction so early in the marriage? Heavens no!!
I am reminded of a time working on a jet when I was a young mechanic and my buddies next to me were trouble shooting the navigation system in the aircraft. they were reading out the wires and racking their brains against the manuals trying to work this out. I wondered in amazement how they were really working hard to tune that box in because it was reading one degree off course. “What’s the big deal.” I thought to myself it was just a degree. I was quickly informed that if your heading starts out just one degree, you will be miles away from your destination.
Marriage is no different. we start out and operate how the Master Mechanic(God) made the marriage but sooner or later either by lack of maintenance or even ignorance, the Gripes start coming, I want you to understand, that like my buddies; if you don’t troubleshoot these gripes in your marriage. your marriage like that jet will not fly right.

If women were to pick their spouse like they pick their clothes, and men were to attend to their wives like they tend to their career’s. I believe with my heart the image of marriage would be very different.

One degree off can take you miles away from where you want your marriage to be.  it is a decision all of us as men have to face.   your spouse wants you not just your eyes he/she wants you!  when was the last time both of you went out and really listened to how his/her day was?  when was the last time you daydreamed with your spouse?   when we don’t share our dreams it slowly chokes the hope that is within the marriage.  Men, your wife wants “I” contact. she want all of you, your flaws, short-comings, hopes and dreams. she is literally invested into you and is for you. It is a disservice if the same is not reciprocated.  Ladies,  your husband longs to feel you love him.  respect him as the man God is making him to be. Perhaps he is still short of the goal, then praise God for the slight advancement.  a Pastor friend who is in heaven once said during her sermon. “women you need to love you man! you need to make him feel like he can fly!”  I ask you as humbly as I know. How are you doing in  marriage. are you trying to work it out?  I encourage you to keep working at it. Your marriage is worth it.  To be continued……….

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